Mary Elizabeth Saxe

Mary Elizabeth Saxe, known as Betsy, died on February 15, 2023 at the age of 65. She was born to John and Noel Mahoney on November 9, 1957 in Rochester, NY, and was the eldest of six siblings—Margaret (Margie), Joan, Michael (Mike), Amy and Ann. Betsy was always in charge, taking ownership of her youngest siblings and showing them the ropes. Betsy graduated from Fairport High School in 1975, and later earned her bachelor's degree in Accounting from the Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT), graduating in 1992. While working at the Fairport Wegman's in 1979, Betsy met Richard Saxe Jr. (Rick); they started dating and eventually got married. Rick was initially attracted to Betsy's smile and outgoing personality, and grew to love her generosity and commitment to others.


Betsy and Rick had two sons, Richard (Rick or Ricky), born in 1981, and Jason, born in 1982. She was devoted to her boys and celebrated every milestone with excessive amounts of presents and cake. She and Rick attended the boys' sports practices and games religiously and made sure to provide snacks and support for everyone on their teams. While the boys were still young, Betsy went to college while working full time, and completed her degree while balancing studies and family for the better part of a decade.


Betsy spent the majority of her career at RIT, working as an administrator in the financial aid office and the printing application lab, and later as an assistant dean of the College of Imaging Arts and Sciences. Her colleagues remember her as incredibly competent, helpful and generous. She always had a smile and kind words for faculty and staff, and her sense of humor improved every interaction.


Betsy also regularly held multiple jobs, working nights and weekends to prepare taxes and deliver newspapers, so she could earn extra money to take the family on trips. They traveled all over the country and the world, visiting national parks, capital cities, and any exciting (and not so exciting) location where her siblings were living. Betsy was an avid trip planner, seeking out deals and eking out every single minute of her vacation time to enjoy them. When her son Jason went off to college and later law school, she made a routine of visiting him in Washington, DC, and Los Angeles, CA, and doting on his school friends as if they were family. At his graduation party in 2013, one of his law school friends remarked that "Betsy is everybody's mom." While in law school, Jason met his wife, and the daughter Betsy had longed for, Lucy Malcolm. Betsy and Rick had a ball celebrating Jason and Lucy's wedding in August 2015.


And even as she missed having Ricky living nearby, Betsy celebrated Ricky's travels to Florida (and visited him there) and later when he took a job in health care in Arizona. In her last year, Betsy was delighted when Ricky moved back East to settle in the same city as his brother.


In February 2016, Betsy and Rick were in a car accident during a snow storm on the NY Throughway, and Betsy suffered a spinal cord injury that left her paralyzed from the chest down. Betsy spent almost half a year in the hospital and when she emerged, her life was transformed. She and Rick retired early and Rick dedicated his life to taking care of her full time. Betsy handled her new circumstances with grace and her customary good nature. She rarely expressed frustration and unhappiness with her loss of movement and independence, and instead tried to make life easier for her new collection of caregivers. Betsy reorganized her days so she could attend physical therapy and forge new connections with people and groups affected by spinal cord injuries. She and Rick talked multiple times per week with groups led by Craig Hospital, in Denver, CO, where she spent time following her injury, and were deeply involved with the local Rochester Spinal Association, where Betsy served as Vice President of the Board of Directors.


In her final years, a continuing source of joy for Betsy were her grandchildren—Fiona, born in 2018, and Alexander (Alec), born in 2021. Fiona and Alec received piles of clothes and toys on birthdays, Christmas, and most days in between; and they knew that a trip to visit Grandma and Grandpa in Rochester meant treats with every meal and new toys every other day. Even after her injury, Betsy prioritized traveling and regularly crossed the country to visit family to celebrate holidays and milestones. Until the Covid shutdown, she attended every graduation and wedding of all her nieces and nephews, even when that meant traveling in a specialized van with Rick at the wheel, loaded the new gear that made life possible.


Betsy loved many things—traveling, crosswords & puzzles, the color purple, reading, desserts, cooking, and shopping for others. Most of all though, Betsy loved her people—family and friends, and especially any young children who found themselves in her orbit. Betsy kept track of everyone's likes and dislikes and made sure to make, bake, or buy those special foods and treats for anyone she would see. Her children, grandchildren, and many nieces and nephews, including great-nieces and nephews, were inundated with presents every birthday and Christmas. She kept several Amazon drivers fully employed. Today, Rick still has a basement full of toys, games and clothes destined for family, friends, and babies she never met.


Betsy will be remembered by all who knew her for her generous spirit, quick wit, and good nature. She was friendly and easily talked with anyone, but always quietly refrained from taking part in negative gossip. Those of us who got to know and love her are the better for experiencing her selflessness, and we will try to honor her spirit. In lieu of flowers, the family is requesting that donations be made to the Rochester Spinal Association.


Family will receive friends 3 - 6 PM Wednesday, February 22, 2023 at New Comer Cremations & Funerals, 2636 Ridgeway Ave., where her Celebration of Life will follow at 6:00 pm.


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